MIA

Once again, I couldn't find my 12 year old son tonight. I called him to dinner and he wasn't in his room.  He was "grounded" today and wasn't even allowed to go outside.  I took them to a Japanese restaurant and we did family things, but he knew he could not go outside to play.  Two hours later, it was after 9 and dark and he still wasn't home and no one on our street had seen him. Finally, I got a lead that he might be with some friends (girls) in another neighborhood. I went to the neighborhood and there were flashing lights of the police.

Of course, it was that house. Cops are everywhere in the neighborhoods near us and the girl's poor dad had just given him a ride home and had been pulled over for a minor traffic violation. He was getting a ticket. He said my son told him his curfew was 11:00, but that "didn't sound right." His response when I asked him about this, "I said my curfew is BEFORE 11:00 which technically every time is.  So, it was the truth."  

My son seems so normal to everyone, but he does not follow any of my rules or directions or have any sense of boundaries.    I have had an occasional problem with my 16 year old daughter not coming home on time, but the biggest difference is she sees the consequence of it and feels (or at least shows) more remorse.  The stress of not knowing where your child is and not having anyway to contact them is the worst feeling in the world.

I don't know that I am cut out to parent teens and preteens.  I need to have too much control over my life.