Wednesday, June 25, 2014


Revisiting my blog and pondering all the changes.

My oldest is 19.  She went to private college for a year thanks to much stress and my dad making arrangements for payment and expectations  that have made me a bundle of nerves every second she has been there.  She was a member of the University of Notre Dame marching band last year.  Her GPA was too low to continue and she came home.  She did a year at community college and got A's.  She is returning  in the fall.  I'm proud, but soooo nervous.

My 16 year old flounders.  She has a 1.5 GPA through her sophomore year.  She has no thoughts about post high school life.  She seems like she's 12.  I'm not sure how to parent her.  She still calls me mommy though.

My 15 year old son is in a residential school and I pay for some of it.  Life has been much more manageable with him there, but it is 100 miles away and requires frequent visits and therapy sessions.  He's making progress and he's safe.

My 13 year old is doing fairly well at my middle school.  He is into robotics and has lots of quirks, but lots of potential.  He's probably "on the spectrum", but it's not that relevant all things considered.

Mostly, everything and everyone is too complicated to sum up in a few sentences.  And I am still a jumble of mixed emotions, bad parenting, survival and moments of clarity that make me feel hopeful.

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