Here's where I stand in life:
- My adoption tax credit has gone the way most of ours have...April 5, April 12, April 19, Review. Endless letters and sending the same stuff. I called today and they said to call again in 45 days. But I feel it is an emergency that I need my money NOW.
- My kids have major issues and I am feeling more and more distant from them...or maybe I have major issues.
- I have major home repair issues that are pushing me over the top.
- We have only one sink and one toilet available--no bath or showers, so we'll have to make arrangements.
- I am despondent tonight...
I have a handyman who is trying to help me with some repairs each Saturday for the past few weeks. He has replaced doors that my kids tore off the hinges, done some bathroom work and he will do many more repairs. But after this Saturday's visit, everything fell apart. Both bathrooms started leaking in multiple places...apparently from very old plumbing just decaying.
If I had the tax credit, I'd still be stressed (and terribly disappointed that I couldn't build a savings for padding), but I could call someone to fix stuff.
Oh, and the electricity went off last week due to faulty wiring, so I have no electricity upstairs...circuit breakers appear fine (thankfully, it's okay downstairs where the major appliances are).
As it stands, I have $8 in my checking account. I have no reserve. I get paid again on May 6. My adoption subsidy will come around the middle of May. I get for three kids less than what some get for one. My kids' expectations are that everything is normal and they can demand whatever they usually do. The leaking from the upstairs toilet is directly on the stove and splattering everywhere, so I have had to make the kitchen off limits.
I am in a crisis and I hate it. Although I am usually hanging on by a thread, I still always come through tough times. But for now, I can't get the water to stop. I am alone. There really is no resolution. I just have to wait and have every day be like "Ground Hog Day." Same thing everyday...no bathrooms, no kitchen...no solution.
I hope that I will have a different perspective tomorrow night...and that the water will STOP.