Good Samaritans

Kids are nestled all snug in their beds...I'll be playing Santa soon.

I have had an unusual number of Good Samaritan experiences during the past few weeks and yet another one today.  My mother's gifts to the kids arrived on Monday, but I didn't know it because the slip was lodged in the mailbox.  I found it at 1:15 today.  I called the post office and the woman said they closed at noon.  THEN she said, "If you come right now. I'll give it to you."  I arrived at 1:30 ( an hour and a half after they closed) to the closed post office.  I called back and the woman opened the doors and got my package!  Thanks to her, my kids can call their Bubba and Pop tomorrow to thank them for the gifts.

This is a time of year when I am trying to remember that even with all the stress of our lives, we really are quite fortunate.  And I want to make sure that I pay all the good deeds forward.

A Parent Conference Beat Down

I had a parent conference with all my 6th grader's teachers and the guidance counselor and it has left me feeling discouraged and angry.

Back ground info:  I teach 8th grade at the same middle school my 6th and 7th grade children attend.  My son is extremely bright, but his grades suffer because of his weak organizational skills and extreme ADHD.  He is generally very well-behaved.  He has had no behavior issues at school.

At the meeting, I wanted to make it clear that my child has come a long, long way, but is still dealing with some very basic skills and behaviors at home at times.  In this context, the expectations of 8 classes and 6th grade are challenging.  I am not expecting them to lower their expectations, but I want them to understand.

Here's what I got from one of the teachers:

• If I cannot handle my child at home, how are they supposed to handle him?
• My child would not do the things he does at home if he was HIS son.
• Why don't I set any expectations or consequences at home?
• Since he doesn't respect me, soon he will start disrespecting his teachers.

It was pretty devastating to me.  This is a colleague of mine.  I'm not sure what his motivation is.  Nothing I said was meant to give anyone any of the above impressions.

I feel compelled to stop sharing any background information at all with teachers.  Usually, I think it's helpful, but today it backfired.  Sure, teachers will still think I'm incompetent because my kid is often a mess and rarely has his homework, but I doubt if I will get the harsh statements I got today . 

Part of the problem is that I am insecure about my parenting, so this hit home.  But this person has no idea what it's like to parent traumatized children.  His judgments are harsh.




 

Twenty Things that Make me Smile

Since I have been in a really bad spot in my life lately, I thought I would try to focus on good today!

Little Things that Make Me Smile:

• When Ms. Diva gets a certain happy look on her face and says, "Mommy" and then shares part of her life with me.
• That all my kids call me "Mommy."
• Watching Ms. Tween focus when she's getting ready to dive into the pool.
• Listening to my kids tell "Yo Mama" jokes in the back seat.
• When Little E sings a song he's learned in Chorus while I'm driving.
• When Sean begs to go to the library to check out books.
• When people tell me what good manners my children have.
• Watching Ms. Diva perform with her school marching band at football games.
• Listening to Little E play in the bathtub.
• Last night when Sean said, "Mom, I've noticed when I'm cooperative, you seem a lot happier."
• Watching my cats sleep.
• When my dad said my children are "wonderful."
• When  Little E asked me " What did the grape say to the elephant ?"    I gave up and he responded: "Nothing...grapes can't talk!"
• Talking about the Harry Potter books with my sons.
• Knowing  that all my children will try ANY new food.
• How nonjudgmental and kindhearted my kids are to people with any kind of "difference"
• That all 4 of my kids are thrilled with a trip to the Thrift Store
• Listening to my children read to me.
• That my 3 youngest kids would rather read and play Scrabble than just about anything else.
• That my oldest child would rather do ANYTHING than read books and play Scrabble ; )

E's First Concert

E sang in his first winter concert tonight with the school chorus.  So cute!  It's nice to see the youngest having his own moment in the spotlight.