Friday, October 29, 2010

"Book smart with no common sense"

That describes my three younger children.

They are all very intelligent, inquisitive children.  Above grade level academically.  But they walk around in their own little world, especially Ms. Tween and L'il E.

They do not have a sense of their bodies or their environment.  They bump into things and people.  They have to be reminded to do the simplest things.  They break things.  They lose everything.  They start to do things and they forget what they're doing.  They drop stuff that they are not aware that they are dropping.  They step on stuff they are not aware that they are stepping on.  They almost ALWAYS leave the car door open when they walk out of the car.  When they get out of the car and stuff falls out, they NEVER pick it up or even seem to notice.  They leave the water running.  They never take responsibility for any of this.

An example is that I had to run a very quick errand while Ms. Tween was out playing with friends.  Ms. Tween had to go to the bathroom, but the door was locked.  She decided that if she stuffed the lock with mulch, it would unlock it.  She is almost 13.  L'il E did the same thing with my car door lock last year.  So now, I have to remember to leave the door unlocked when we are not home or we are locked out.  Sean's solution to the mulch lockout was to go around the house and climb on a wobbly grill to scale the fragile deck and go through my 2nd story bedroom door.  He could have been hurt badly.

Never a dull moment.

I think I might be able to deal with one child like this, but having 3 is exhausting.  I have to check everything all the time.

I wonder if this will get better as they get older.  Will they develop the skills they need to complete the tasks of daily living?  Will they be able to have the jobs that their extreme intelligence indicates they could have?

I feel incompetent so often when I see how they are and then I feel angry with them for being so "smart" and so "dumb" at the same time.  I think it's hardest to have kids with these "invisible" disabilities.


Dia por Dia said...

I agree. My three oldest are alot like this although Corazon is getting a little better. With mine I think part of the problem is that their powers of observation are underdeveloped which I think affects their common sense so they treat everything as though it is a "new" experience and cannot transfer knowledge from one experience to another. With Corazon I have done these "observation" exercises that I think have helped a little but it is exhausting and exasperating.

mindfulness said...

I think the first year they were with me, I was much more tolerant of it. At times, I even found it a bit amusing that I couldn't take anything for granted. But after awhile it just gets tiring. I have become very negative and I'm having determining what is caused by executive functioning problems and what is just carelessness.

sadiesmom said...

I so know what you mean. I keep hoping my Sadie, age 7, will grow out of this but since your's is 10 I'm guessing probably not any time soon. Yes they will have great jobs that enable them to have personal assistants to keep track of the details. Right?