Monday, October 11, 2010

Every Night is the Eve of Destruction

My kids destroy or lose EVERYTHING.  It would be impossible to exaggerate this point.

My boys have destroyed every toy they have ever had.  They have destroyed every piece of furniture and all electronics in their room. Their walls are full of holes, written on with marker and have unidentified hanging objects on them (Food?  Body fluids?  Science experiments?)  The closet door is ripped off.  The ceiling fan and every light has been torn apart.   They have ripped electrical outlets from the wall.  The screens were torn from the windows after multiple holes.  Their mattresses are pulp.  I had to tear up their carpet and they have floorboards now.

I think you get the idea.

My boys are very sweet...really!  I don't understand this behavior.  It's something I really struggle with.

How can such nice, polite young boys display these behaviors?  They are extremely ADHD and lose and forget things constantly, but this destruction seems so extreme.  It makes me have to monitor them extremely closely so that my whole house doesn't look like their bedrooms.  This is tiring.

Their 12 year old sister is slightly better, but also has a tendency to destroy what she has.

The kids cannot explain this behavior to me. 

I admit to feeling angry about some of the the things of mine they have destroyed and it's hard for me to get past some of them even though I know it was not done with malicious intent.  For example, they destroyed the only copy of a VHS tape of my oldest daughter taken when she was an infant to age 5.   They put holes in the walls and screens, etc.  They did damage to my car.

But most of that was done in the first year and I need to move on.  But it's difficult.  Maybe it's because there are so many behaviors to deal with like stealing, lying and not following directions.  It's all exhausting.

Yet...I do have wonderful children.  It seems that almost all of their "anti social" tendencies are exhibited at home and for this I am grateful. Yet completely frustrated.

I wonder if anyone can relate to this or if it just reflects really poor parenting on my part.


Denise said...

No, it's not poor parenting! We have the holes in the walls, the broken toys, broken furniture. Today, my youngest was caught removing the pavers from our front walkway and steps.

I have a couple of good friends whose upstairs I've never even seen because their kids' rooms are so bad.

One friend's son stuffed something down the kids' toilet and broke it. So, in the middle of the night, he removed it, carried it upstairs to his mom's bathroom, and switched it with her toilet so that she wouldn't find out about his toilet! Of course, he didn't know how to install toilets, so they both leaked all over the place and created more damage!

I don't know what causes these behaviors and what to do about them, but I do know that you're not alone!

ali said...

STORY OF OUR LIVES!!! nice to "meet" you :) ali

Psycho Mom said...

It is not you!!! It is what hards exposed to abuse or pre-natal junk do- and it is exhausting!!! Welcome to blogging, nice to meet you! I have added you to my google reader so I will read all your posts. It is always good to connect to blog friends!! Hopefully, you have some in your area that you can connect with in real life. I have found several blog friends in Minnesota who have become real-life friends- it is great!!!